If Anything Could Get Me To Listen to Talk Radio...

A few entries ago I posted about Dennis Prager's article about why women should always have sex with their husbands, regardless of their desire to. Well, I discovered that article through my favorite blog, Jezebel where they discussed it here . Today he came out with part 2 of his rant, which Jezebel responded to again.

I can't remember the last time I have been so filled with rage toward another human being and Jezebel articulates why more than I ever could. I'm not ashamed to admit that I was yelling at Prager through my screen as I read his words, so I am very glad that Megan, the Jezebel writer who contributed both of these posts, gets to actually yell at him for me. Apparently, she will be discussing (oh-so-civilly, I'm sure) Prager's "ideas" on his radio show on KRLA 870 AM on January 7th at 1 pm ET. And there's an opportunity to call in!

I have never listened to talk radio on my own accord but I'm going to try my best to listen in for this. Hopefully the show will be posted on the website so if it's missed we can all hear it online.

The Best Songs Ever

In the spirit of end-of-the-year-countdowns I've been thinking a lot about my favorite songs. Tonight I broke it down and created my top 50 favorite songs of the past year. This doesn't mean songs that came out this year, but songs that, when they come up on my shuffle, I get excited and shout "yes! I love this song!"The songs that I play on repeat, that make me smile, dance, cry, think, daydream. Some of them have been on this list for awhile now, some have just entered it a few weeks ago. I can't explain the list any more than I can explain my taste in music in general. It's a bit strange looking at it because some of my favorite artists aren't even represented on it. And there are many crappy pop/hip hop songs that I listened to tons of times over the year but didn't feel right being added. But, without further ado, the best songs ever (in no particular order, except slightly alphabetical):

-"You Learn" Alannis Morrisette
-"You Oughta Know" Alannis Morrisette
-"Back to Black" Amy Winehouse
- "Lay Lady Lay" Bob Dylan
- "Sheep Go To Heaven" Cake
- "Let Me Go" Cake
- "I Want You" Common feat Will.I.Am
-"Mr Jones" Counting Crows
-"The Body Breaks" Devendra Banhart
- "Sunny Road" Emiliana Torrini
- "Crowd Surf Off a Cliff" Emily Haines and the Soft Skeleton
- "Inside and Out" Feist
- "Mushaboom" Feist (K-Os remix)
- "Oh Well" Fiona Apple
- "Paper Bag" Fiona Apple
- "Ready or Not" The Fugees
- "5/4" Gorillaz
- "My Philosophy" Inner
- "Hot Kiss" Juliette and the Licks
- "It's Been Raining" Kimya Dawson
- "Daft Punk is Playing at my House" LCD Soundsystem
- "Take What ya Take" Lily Allen
- "Come Around" MIA
- "Paper Planes" MIA
- "Lolita" Martha Wainwright
-"Teardrop" Massive Attack
- "Time to Pretend" MGMT
- "The Panties" Mos Def
- "The Beggar" Mos Def
- "Sun, Moon, Stars" Mos Def
- "Take Off Your Cool" Andre 3000 feat Norah Jones
- "Come On Billy" PJ Harvey
- "Long Snake Moan" PJ Harvey
- "The Dancer" PJ Harvey
- "New Shoes" Paolo Nutini
- "Black Jesus" Everlast
- "Body Baby" Pharoaha Monch
- "Even So " Rachel Yamagata
- "You Really Got A Hold On Me" She and Him
- "Sentimental Heart" She and Him
- "Moon" Sia
- "Your Ex Lover is Dead" Stars
- "Tom's Diner" Suzanne Vega
- "Nineteen" Tegan and Sara
- "We Walk" The Ting Tings
- "Shut Up and Let Me Go" The Ting Tings
- "Fast Car" Tracy Chapman
- "Take A Walk On the Wild Side" Lou Reed
- "Maps" Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Limewire For Books on Tape?

I'm not entirely sure why, but I've been in the mood to be read to. I don't have a tape player or even a CD player handy so that's what's been stopping me from going to the library and renting books on tape. But it got me thinking how cool it would be to have books on my Ipod. I know there are a few services that do this, but the thought of paying for such a thing (like the rest of what's on my Ipod) is just silly to me. I'm hoping to find something in the way of Limewire where you can download audiobooks for free. Does anyone know where I can do so? If not, someone should get on that.

All I Want(ed) For Christmas Was a Dress!

Winter sucks. Not having any money sucks. Being bored sucks. I don't care how silly it makes me sound, but I honestly would've forgotten these woes if I had been able to get me a new dress this season. So why do all of the stores want to keep me down?

If I had to have only one thing in my wardrobe for the rest of my life, it would be dresses. They're incredibly simple to wear, completely versatile, always flattering and an instant pick-me-up. This whole year I have been craving to revamp my collection of tried and true (but tired) dresses, yet lack of consistent employment unfortunately equals lack of new dresses. So when I was let loose in the mall to pick myself out a few presents I was Desperately Seeking Dresses.

I thought that the Post-Christmas shopping season was perfect for finding discounted holiday party dresses but I was sadly mistaken. It wasn't that I couldn't find a dress I liked (although the minuscule selection that was there was pretty hideous - what's with the sequins-on-Ecstasy trend?) it's just that I could hardly find a dress, period. Forever 21 and Charlotte Russe had the largest selection, but they featured nothing in the middle ground between Boring Jersey and Drag Queen. H&M, Target and Old Navy literally did not have a single dress for sale. And this trend has been happening for a few months prior when I was just perusing. Whatsupwiththat?

Honestly, it's like all stores want to keep me all mopey. What, did I miss the memo that dresses aren't "in" anymore?

Rant: Palahniuk's Latest Makes Me Do Exactly That

A few weeks ago I swore that I would never read another Chuck Palahniuk book again. Then a friend insisted I give him just one more try with Rank: An Oral Biography of Buster Casey. It was the unique setup that got me: instead of a narrative he creates the story by compiling snippets of testimonies from the main characters' family and friends recalling his life story after his death. Well, once again I was duped by that wily Palahniuk. Halfway through I couldn't take it anymore, and that's what compelled me to write.

Here's the deal: do not read more than two of Chuck Palahniuk's books. Palahniuk (of Fight Club fame) used to be one of my favorite authors. I loved his bizzareo plots, dark humor and characters that made me feel as dry as white bread. I loved his books for being unique and his page-turning tactics of trying to out-sick himself with each new description. Each story I read was torn through in two days.

There was Lullaby, my introduction, about a book that accidentally published a culling song (an African lullaby meant to give a painless death to the old or sick) which was causing the deaths of dozens of babies across the country. A few weeks later I bought Invisible Monsters, which had a roster of models and drag queens as the main characters that pleased me to no end.Then there was Diary, which plunged even more than usual into the fantastical and started my questioning of my love for his craziness.

My excitement for Palahniuk had faded, but when the movie version of Choke came out a few months ago and my roommate bought the book I decided it was worth reading, especially after watching and hearing her reactions as she ripped through it across the room. Well, I took the book, read it in one night, and when I was done threw it in a rage across the room screaming "I'm so done with him! I am SO done!"

See, if Choke had been my first or second Palahniuk book, I would've enjoyed it immensely. But, after reading enough of his books I realized that even though they may not be in tune with the majority of what's on the bookshelves, that does not make them any less formulaic. He creates a band of extremely fucked up, despicable characters who hate themselves even more so than they hate everyone around them, places them in a ridiculous yet still potentially plausible scenario that illuminates the grotesqueness of human nature and then, in the last quarter of the book, introduces a completely out-of-the-blue element of fantasy that always elicits an audible "what the hell?" reaction from the reader that keeps you turning the pages just to figure out indeed what the hell is going on until you reach the last page, completely unsatisfied and confused but tricked into being entertained by such a crazy story.

Reading Palahniuk is kind of like reading an erotic novel, where you flip past all the "novel" pages just to get to the sex scenes. And maybe the first few sex scenes are pretty titillating but after the first three or so you're left unimpressed. Only with Palahniuk you're racing through it to see what crazy, disgusting or perveted thing he'll come up with next and it's exciting at first but then you realize it's just shock for shock's sake and really doesn't have any other goods to back it up.

By all means, try Palahnkiuk out, especially if you've grown tired of all that normal storytelling out there. But do yourself a favor and quit while you're ahead (I'd suggest Fight Club and Lullaby) or else you'll likely find yourself restraining yourself from tearing out the pages of a book borrowed from a friend.

Dick Quote of the Week

"Every man who is sexually faithful to his wife already engages in daily heroic self-control. He has married knowing he will have to deny his sexual natures desire for variety for the rest of his life. To ask that he also regularly deny himself sex with the one woman in the world with whom he is permitted sex is asking far too much."

From Dennis Prager's article on why wives should never deny sex to their husbands. Tune in next time for part two, where he'll explain why mood should never be a deciding factor in whether you're up for sex or not.

Crafting Our Way Out of the Recession

As I'm scrambling to find a pattern for a last-minute gift and simultaneously browsing the Times' headlines (don't you love multitasking?) I found it incredibly fitting that I stumbled upon this article about how another business niche that's prospering in our current situation is the crafty one.

Craft supply stores, handmade boutiques and craft fairs are doing remarkably well this Holiday season because everyone's turning to making their gifts this year. Not only does it save them money, but the process of making each gift does wonders for stress relief in this particularly stressful time of year.

Looks like once again, I'm way ahead of the curve. *Sigh*

Riot Grrl

Lately I've just been wanting to throw on a floral babydoll dress, some ripped fishnets and thrifted Doc Martens, let my hair get all greasy, load up on the eyeliner, finally learn how to play guitar and get addicted to heroin. (Just kidding on that last part)

I'm not sure why, exactly, but I've been really feeling the look of 90s rocker ladies. Hence why I'm currently downloading all of the Garbage I left at home and scouring Ebay for combat boots.


90s Rock by kissmeducky

Sometimes, I Get Tired of Dealing With Women Too

I have become increasingly concerned about the number of articles I've found describing the Japanese's attempt to create virtual or robotic girlfriends.

• There's this gem which is a virtual anime girlfriend that lives in a box on your computer screen. She comes with a variety of outfits (including one that makes her look like a stuffed cat?) and interacts with a couple of tools provided for the user that they wave in front of their webcam for her to react to. One of them is a paddle...which is used to beat her up...and one of them is a finger prod....which is used to undress her. The first half of the wonderful video from the article shows the girl getting repeatedly smacked around while the second half is her getting her clothes ripped off, which ends with her crouching on her box, crying. But don't worry, she is soon appeased by the presents you buy her, like a stuffed teddy bear.
• Then there's a cellphone application which allows the user to flirt with a hand-chosen girlfriend (who is really just a computer with preprogrammed responses) via text. The "girlfriend" is realistic in the sense that if they don't treat her right (coming on too strong or too weakly) she'll reply with bitchy emails, and if they bore her (by talking about sports) she won't reply at all. Yet if she's successfully seduced she'll treat the pursuer by "slowly revealing her most intimate secrets."
• Another form of a cell phone mistress is a nagging housewife stressed-out businessmen can carry around with them all day! Choose from four personalities: a professional businesswoman, a kind housewife, a young trendsetter and a maid. Then, a cheerful anime graphic pops up on your screen four times a day reminding you to eat healthy by avoiding high-calorie meals and fatty foods.
  
• Finally, (although who knows how many more I've missed), there is of course the lady robot which is still in development. This lifelike fembot has touch sensitive skin, can recognize objects, read in Japanese and English, do math and, by seeing what the weather's like outside, advise their owners on what to wear and remind them to drive carefully. My favorite line: "He said he did not build Aiko as a sexual partner, but said she could be tweaked to become one."

Never mind that this is extremely creepy (the virtual girlfriend and robot's sites in particular made me feel like I was watching some kind of superkinky porn) and extremely pathetic (how many desperately lonely men are there??) but through Japan's quest to create the perfect girlfriend, their highly disturbing and misogynistic views of women become all to clear. Three out of four of these prototypes are essentially slaves by taking on an traditionally obedient role, whether it be a sex object, a wife or a twisted sort-of secretary. Both cellphone features portray the annoying-girlfriend stereotype and, without need for explanation, the virtual girlfriend is utterly derogatory. Perhaps the female robot can be construed as respectful, since she's apparently supposed to be smarter than the human male owner (although the fact that the first lifelike service robot is female is a tad demeaning). That is, until you see what she's wearing and the...tweaking...most certainly occurs.
But despite all that, what does this say about Japanese men? There is obviously some sort of a demand for these kinds of services or else I wouldn't have stumbled upon four examples within a month. If all of these products were purely sexual, then it could be brushed aside as just another bizarre fetish. But the last three examples were created with the apparent goal of men establishing relationships with these imaginary girlfriends. The flirtatious text application, in particular, was one where men admitted to becoming attached to their "girlfriends." There was even a quote where a man described breaking up with his.

If your imaginary relationships are just as difficult or annoying as real life ones potentially are, then why bother? Why are men turning to screens and robots instead of engaging in human interaction? My immediate reaction is they all must be too scared, too lazy, too ugly or don't care enough to seek out and maintain a relationship, but their justification is this same type of behavior has always been apparent in their culture. As a man quoted in the second article puts it,

"You have the happiness of a secret woman, a hidden relationship, with none of the fear that your wife will find out and be angry. My grandfather had the geisha, my father had the bar hostesses and I have Love By Mail. It is maybe hard for others to understand, but these substitutes, or additions, for the everyday relationship between a husband and wife are well accepted in our culture."

Maybe it's just my close-minded American view, but, I'm not going to accept cultural differences are the explanation, here.

DIY Feather Headband

Like many ladies, I have been seeking out one of those sweet little feather headbands, but haven't been able to bring myself to pay $40 for something I can easily make myself. It's simple, really, and it only took me about an hour to make two.
What You'll Need:-feathers: can be found at a craft store (or pulled from an old feather duster or boa if you're feeling thrifty)
-felt
-skinny headbands
-glue
-scissors
-needle and thread

First, cut a teardrop shape of felt that's about as large as you want the feather part to be. Cut an identical shape as this one and sew them together for added stiffness. (sorry about the crappy quality of the picture)

Cover the surface of the felt with glue and begin layering the feathers. Continue dotting the surface of the feathers with glue and pressing on your next layer.

Build these layers until you get the shape and fullness you would like. Wait for the glue to dry and then attach your feather piece to the headband. Sew near the base of the piece and then pass the thread around the underside of the headband, sewing back up through the feather piece and continue so you are trapping the headband between the thread and the feather piece. Keep your stitches tight, and it's probably best to go back down the headband once you've reached the top. Once the headband is secure, cover the stitches with a smaller feather. And voila! Your headband is complete.

Slumdog Millionaire

'Slum Dog Millionaire' Theatrical Trailer @ Yahoo! Video

Believe the hype you've been hearing about "Slumdog Millionaire". This movie was one of the most original films I have seen in a long, long while. It is a story you've never heard before about things and places you know little about. Jamal Mikal grew up in the slums of Mombai, India, yet he is about to win 20 million rupees on the Indian version of "Who Wants to be a Millionaire." Suspecting him of cheating, the police demand to know the story behind how we knew the answer to every question. Through these flashbacks we discover the fascinating life story of Jamal as he struggles against extreme poverty, corrupted orphanages, tracking down the love of his life and resorting to a life of crime that his brother, Salim, brings him into.

While "Millionaire" is essentially a love story, this is no chick flick. The story dives deep into the social and political underground of India and you're carried along an action-packed emotional rollercoaster until the end of the end of the credits roll (stay seated for the Bollywood dance bit a few minutes after they begin). If it wasn't for the fact that I wound up sitting next to Stephen King, I would have been bawling my eyes out for the duration of this movie because I was so shocked, so scared, so upset, so moved, and so happy at every moment that passed across the screen. This story is beautiful, engrossing. disgusting, uplifting and all around heartbreaking; certainly not one to be missed.

'Tis The Season

In times like these, it may be difficult to remember that the most important part of this season is giving, not getting. Yes, you've been running around like a maniac trying to find perfect presents for your friends and family, but keep in mind that not everyone has the opportunity to enjoy the stress of the holiday season. If you can, make the effort to donate your time or money to a charitable organization this year. Don't worry, you'll be getting something in return, and it might just be better than that new pair of shoes.

If you're in Boston, here are my suggestions of places to give to:

• Rosie's Place . This is a woman's shelter for poor and homeless women that does amazing work. They provide free meals, a free grocery store that members can shop at once a month, a free clothing room, free ESL courses, free arts classes and free services to help women get back on their feet. They also run the Woman's Craft Cooperative, which teaches women craft and business skills so that they can learn how to sell what they make through local fairs and stores. Rosie's Place runs primarily on volunteer work so they are always looking for help. Volunteers are asked to commit to a scheduled time of service at least twice a month for three months, but it's flexible. (If all goes according to plan, maybe you'll be working with me!) If you don't have the time, buy one of the products sold through the Cooperative, and monetary donations are also welcomed.
• Animal Rescue League of Boston . If you're a total Scrooge and couldn't possibly think about helping people, then think about volunteering at or donating to ARL of Boston. And by volunteer, I mean go down there and spend a few hours cooing at the cute animals, even if it is while you're cleaning up after them. And by donating, I mean go down there and pick yourself out a kitty. (See? I said it would be better than a new pair of shoes, didn't I?)
• > The Community Art Center This is a really great program based in Cambridge that gives less fortunate kids and teens the opportunity to explore and express themselves through the arts. Volunteer your time with administrative work, teaching a program or helping with publicity and fundraising. Or donate supplies or funds.

If these options aren't quite your style, find more opportunites to volunteer in Boston here .

Change Lanes

This will be my second post encouraging the female population to wear men's clothing, but I swear I'm not a cross-dresser. I'm just resourceful.

Allow me to share an observation with you. I was holiday shopping today and decided that while I was out getting everyone else presents, I might as well get myself a little something too. So I stopped in H&M looking for either a sweater or dress for $15 or under. (Pause for a brief aside: why isn't anyone selling dresses anymore?) The situation was looking bleak for my tight budget, even in the sale section, which only boasted items for which it was all too obvious why they were marked down, until I accidentally wandered into the men's section.

I say "accidentally" because I was merely blindly following the "sale" signs and in accordance with the current trends it really is quite difficult to tell the men's and women's side apart. While my foray had so far been depressing I was suddenly piling on finds draped across my arm. It wasn't until an older businessman accompanied me that I realized I was rooting through the men's sales rack. I was shocked; so this is where they hide all the goodies! A taste of what I found:

• a light purple organic cotton T, size XL for $5 (compared to a similar woman's item that cost $9)
• a striped blue T with a large breast pocket, size L for $5 (compared to a similar woman's item that cost $12)
• a collection of artistic graphic Ts, size XL for $5 (compared to a similar woman's item that cost $25)
• a striped pink button-down, size L for $10 (compared to a similar woman's item for $20)
• a thick green hoodie, size L for $15 (compared to a similar woman's item for $20)

So, here's what I walked away with: a black cotton sweater with buttons along the shoulders, XL for $15. It's warm and fitted enough to be worn as a long sweater over skinny jeans (compared to a similar woman's item for $40). Or, unbutton one of those shoulders and switch the jeans for tights and boots to be worn as a sweater-dress (trust me, it's long enough) and compare it to a similar woman's item for $30. So, instead of walking out of the store with nothing at all on my budget, or a wasted $70 worth of clothes, I checked out on the men's side and got everything I was looking for in one garment for $15.

Trust me, you will not come away looking like a drag-king. We're all shopping for comfy knits, argyle sweaters, basic Ts and button-downs anyway. Why not cross the store and get it for much less?